To be or not to be?
"Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in the reflection"
Trust is something extremely delicate. It takes years to build and just a second to break. It is flimsier than a soap bubble. Just one prick and everything is gone, just like that. People say heart break is tough and devastating, but I feel it is comparatively easy to recover from, but if someone's trust breaks it is almost impossible to rebuild. Its like that one tiny crack that just keeps leaking no matter what you try to do about it. Plaster it, tape it or cement it, nothings works. It might stop leaking for a while but you know it is bound to come back.
You might try all you want, try to put things behind you, have a clean slate, turn over a new leaf, but that little smidge of doubt does not go away, it is always there. It is self preservation, and why not. It is in our nature to protect ourselves. Trust requires a track record, so you just can't trust someone in an instant. And moreover you have no means of knowing if things won't fall apart again. Like you can never get rid of that creak of light in your room at night, similarly you can't fully get the trust back.